Christmas Tag

Alright, so now that I'm on break, I've gotten pretty lazy... And I really should attempt to do more with this now, but I keep forgetting... But! I am doing a tag now. Leilani Sunblade was nice enough to tag me, and so I'll go ahead and answer the questions now. (Oh, and thanks so much for tagging me, Leilani. :D I love answering these. :) )

Alright, so, first question...

What is your favourite Christmas treat?
Hmm... I really don't know... I guess rice krispies treats and most of the cookies that my mom and sisters make around the holidays. I also make a no bake chocolate oatmeal cookie that has slowly become my favorite. (Normally, people make it with peanut butter, but my family doesn't since my sister's allergic to peanuts.)

Are there any special traditions that your family has to celebrate Christmas?
Maybe? I don't know when, but somewhere along the line my family started the tradition of going over to my grandma and grandpa's house for Christmas Eve to eat dinner and just hang out. We also open any gifts we have from our extended family members. And we also bake a lot of cookies... XD

How do you normally celebrate Christmas?
 Well, first we do the thing at my grandparents house, then on Christmas morning is is a tradition for my younger sisters, (their twins, so they're often refer to as the twins...) the twins, to wake me up, as well as the youngest two. Then we all go through our stockings, which is basically the only thing we're allowed to look through. XD Then, after we've finally managed to pull our parents and the oldest out of bed, we start opening the gifts under the tree. Once that's done, we clean up the mess we made while opening everything, and start thinking about making breakfast. And then basically we mess around with our gifts for the rest of the day and do nothing... Though, we usually watch movies of some sort, because that's a big thing in our family. Last year we went to the theaters, and other years we've rented movie.

Do you enjoy getting presents for your friends and family? Do you buy your gifts or go the homemade route?
Since the first time that my older sister and I have had money around Christmas time, we've been buying gifts for our family. We actually finished our Christmas shopping yesterday. :D I'm not that great at making gifts, so I always just buy them. And, I LOVE buying things for my family. Seriously, it's like the best thing ever. :D (Sometimes I do get gifts for my friends, but I have a big family, so my sister and I often don't have extra money to do that. But this year my two best friends, my two youngest sisters, and I (We're all friends) did a secret santa sort of thing where the gifts were homemade. I drew my friend a picture which she hung on her wall. XD And that was pretty fun.)

Is it cold where you live? Have you ever had a white Christmas?
.... I live in a desert... I've had maybe one white Christmas, maybe? But yeah... Where I live, it's generally not that cold. It usually doesn't get below like... 28 degrees (Fahrenheit) where I live... So it's not really that cold. Of course, we also live semi close to mountains, and it's not unusual for it to snow there.

What’s on your Christmas list this year?
Honestly, not much. XD I'm finding that I don't really want a whole lot of stuff any more... Either that, or the stuff I want is super expensive so I won't ask for it.  My list is also very general... It consists of books, anime stuff, notebooks, and boots.

What’s your favourite Christmas song?
Ooh... Weeeellll... I really like Theocracy's Wynter Fever. Just because it's awesome. XD But, I also like Carol of the Bells by most anyone, and I've also listened to Pentatonix's Chistmas album a lot as well.

What is your favourite Christmas memory?
I'm not sure I have one specific one, but I always love going to my grandma's house for the Christmas Eve thing... Oh, but now that I think of it, I do have a favorite one. XD Last year, my sisters, parents, and I were getting ready to leave, and we were taking a family picture and everything and ended up being really hyper. (That's always fun because we all end up laughing for hours. XD) Anyway, after that we left and we were being all crazy. So we had a very interesting ride back to our house. :D But once we got home, I stood up and saw that I had been sitting on a cookie the whole ride home. (We took some of the stuff home with us.) XD I told my sisters, and we somehow ended the conversation with my being able to poop cookies... XD My family has a pretty weird sense of humor, but I thought  it was funny and laughed for a whole five minutes. But of course, I wanted the twins to hear about it, because they had already gone inside the house at that point. So I burst into their bedroom, exclaiming very loudly that I could poop cookies, but they simply stared at me like I was interrupting something. I was confused until one of the twins turned her phone around, and I realized they had been video chatting someone... So I left their room, laughing even harder. XD Strange memory, but I like it.

What does your Christmas Tree look like?
Here's a picture. :)

The presents under there are mostly the ones I just bought yesterday. :D

What are you reading in December? (Anything festive?)

Well I started The Tournament at Gorlan (The Early Years) by John Flanagan back in November after my grandma bought it for me for my birthday. I'm not finished yet, but I'm almost done. (And it's soooo epic, by the way. XD)

Buuut, I'm not reading anything else, and not something festive.

Are you an organised little elf or are you still shopping/preparing on Christmas Eve?

XD I'm not organized in the slightest. But generally I'm done before Christmas Eve. Other than finishing touches and things like that.

How early do you start to get into the Christmas spirit?

As soon as Halloween is over. XD Christmas is awesome, and I'm not overlooking Thanksgiving, I just love Christmas stuff. :)

Do you make any Christmas crafts? Decorations? Send physical Christmas cards?

Not really... I sometimes make cards and things like that, but it's not really my thing.

What’s the menu for Christmas Day?!

Umm... Turkey? Normally we don't have anything fancy for dinner, but after Thanksgiving we ended up with a lot of Turkey and I think that's what we'll be having this year.

What makes it FEEL like Christmas for you? (Weather, specific tradition, food, smell, person, etc.?)

Ooh. When it gets chilly enough to use a jacket and occasionally my big jacket. And then when my family and other houses put up lights and decorations, and there aren't any leaves on the trees any more, annnd when I smell cookies baking, that's what makes everything feel like Christmas. :D

Do you have relatives coming? Excited? Nervous?

Nope. My other grandma (Not the one who we visit on Christmas Eve) used to live in Arizona, but a couple of years ago she moved in with my family, so we don't ever have relatives visit for Christmas anymore...

What famous Christmas character do you most identify with? (Scrooge, Elf, Tiny Tim, the Grinch, Santa, etc.)

Lol... Let's just say the Grinch. XD

If you were to start a new Christmas tradition, what would it be?

Heh... I don't know that I would start a new one... I like everything the way it is now.

What Christmas movies do you like to watch this time of year or what’s your favorite?

Elf is probably my favorite/the one we always watch, as well as the Grinch. Then there are the older ones that we usually watch, but haven't this year, like Year Without Santa Clause, Frosty the Snowman... Movies like that I guess.

What’s your favorite Christmasy book or book with a favorite Christmasy part?

Heh... I actually don't think I have one... 

Annnnnd... I may or may not tag people later, but seeing as it's late already and I'm pretty tired, I'm just going to leave it like this for now. Buuut, if you're reading this and want to do the tag, feel free! :D And let me know if you do it so I can see your answers! Thanks for reading! :)

Crazy Character Questions (Plus Updates)

Alright, so I'm going to go ahead and post the video Cloaklover and I did (we made it like, last month actually), but first I'll go ahead and let you guys know what's been going on. I really had intended on posting short stories and things like that, but I just never managed it because of school and frustrating things like that. But now I'm on break and I have more time to write and post stuff here! :D

NaNo didn't work out as well as I had hoped, and I failed pretty terribly. Though, I already guessed that's what would happen, and I'm not too disappointed. Though, now that it's over and I haven't really spent much time actually writing my NaNo project, I'm putting that one on hold to go back to Bryin's story. (He's pretty happy about that. XD) And I'm hoping that I can finish the sixth book before school starts up again, as well as start the seventh book. But we'll see how it goes...

As for the short stories and the map, I'll get to posting those as soon as I can. It sort of depends on if I can pry myself away from Bryin's main story again now that I've started back up, and I'm finally getting to the middle/ending of it.

Ooh, and I'm planning on making a couple posts on my art blog soon as well, and it'd be awesome if you checked those out! :D

Annnnd, now. Here's the video!

What did you think of the questions, or my answers? Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading/watching! :D

Oh! I also put up a new poll question!

NaNo Update #3

Well, it's now the 21st and I'm so behind on writing. I didn't hardly get any writing done because I've been doing school work, and actually going to school, and stuff like that. You know, trying to be a good student even though I'd much rather skip classes all month so I could just sit around the house and write all day. But, that's not how it worked out. >.<

On the bright side, though, I'm on break for a whole week! I can only imagine the amount of writing I can get done in that time! Hopefully it's a lot. I'm gonna need the time to play catch up if I actually want to reach the 50k mark this time around.

And, I would have written yesterday, but it was my 19th birthday! :D It was amazing, and even better because I didn't have any classes at all, meaning my break started a day earlier! XD My grandma made me an amazing cake, and gave me The Tournament at Gorlan by John Flanagan (so excited to read that) as well as some glitter body mist stuff (which happens to also be one of my favorite smells.) And then, this afternoon my aunt and uncle took me for coffee and got me a travel mug thing, which is gold, and amazing! :D Over all it was awesome, but it meant that I didn't have time to get any further on the short story I'm working on!

The last poll was something about who you would like to know more about, and I think Wolf won that one... Which is why I started writing a short story thing to post, but then I started off with Bryin and Wolf seems more like a side character at the moment, so I'm just gonna post that story here and come up with one mostly about Wolf and put it on the other blog. (That way Bryin doesn't get upset at Wolf. ;) )

So, if I can manage it, I'll try to have both stories up by the 27th, which is Friday. (Just so I give myself a deadline.)

And for an actual NaNo update, I have 14,387 words in total... And I'm still trying to end chapter two so I can move on and write about a few more characters, but I think I'm starting to get ideas about what actually happens in the middle of the book, so that's good. And I'm still really happy about it, so that means I'll definitely be continuing it until the end. (Or that's how I feel about it at the moment.)

But yeah. That's about it, I think. I'll come up with a new poll question soon, and it also looks like I'll be drawing up a new map and posting it, so look forward to that. Though, it'll be after the short stories, and maybe even after this semester of school ends for me, but we'll see.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and definitely come back later to check out the short stories whenever I get around to finishing them. And wish me luck with NaNo! :D

NaNo Update #2 (Video)

Okay, sooo, here's my update. :D (Ignore my awkwardness. XD) And also, I'll have a new poll question up tomorrow. 

New Blog!

Sooo, this is a short post, but I'd thought I'd just let everyone know that I have a new blog for my project More Than Survival. I figured that I'd eventually want to blog about that project, but I don't necessarily post everything about it on here since it's for WoP. Sooo... Yeah! You can click the Other Blogs tab, and find the link there, or just click here!

http://mtsurvival.blogspot.com/

Also, son't forget about the poll thing. It ends on Saturday, and I'll have a new question up sometime that afternoon!

Thanks for reading this, and also, let me know what you think of the new blog! :D

(Bryin: Yeah, of course there's a new blog. First she completely abandons my story right in the middle of it, then she starts to like her new characters, and then she makes a whole blog for them. And you know what? Those characters won't even be grateful for all that. Gosh. Why can't my author just come back and forget about all the other stupid new characters? Why?!?!

Tristan: Ooh... What's this place. It looks cool... Maybe it's some top secret government thingy...

Bryin: Um, hello? This isn't you blog, you terrible new character girl. Go back to where ever it is you came from, I was in the middle of--

Tristyn: Oh, I didn't see you there... Are you a government agent? Sorry about being here when it's supposed to be top secret and everything. It was a complete accident.

Bryin: I don't work for the government! This whole thing has nothing to do with the government! If you want to ramble on and on about stupid stuff, get on your own blog! This one's mine. I'm the only one allowed to do stupid stuff on here.

Tristyn: Well, excuse me. That was rude. I'm not stupid, and I'm not rambling on and on. Not yet anyway.

Bryin: Then leave before you do start!)

Me: *Shoos both Bryin and Tristyn away before anything can get out of hand* Oh, and sorry for just stopping in the middle of your story Bryin! I promise I'll come back soon to torture-- I mean-- write about you later!!!

NaNo Update #1

Soooooo... I'm not doing as well as I would have liked. >.< First, I would have liked to update my blog yesterday, but I was too tired since I had just gotten home from being out of town for a concert. (BTW, Skillet is amazing, and that was my second time seeing them. I also saw Family Force 5, for KING & COUNTRY, Jamie Grace, Lincoln Brewster, and a few other people. It was awesome! And Sadie Robertson was there as well! :D) All in all, it was worth the time I spent not writing. But, I only have 3,518 words written as of right this moment, and I'm around 8,000 words behind. I don't have much time to write today because I have a lot of homework to do, and I may not have a lot of time tomorrow either. >.<

BUT! There is some good news! (Other than the part about the concert ;) ) So far, I wasn't sure how this story was going to turn out, especially since every time I try to write a new story I lose interest and just default back to writing Bryin and Darvel's story. (Bryin: Um, of course she does. I'm just too awesome not too.) I still don't know if I'm going to lose interest in this yet or not, but so far I'm liking the direction I'm heading in.

I really like the main character Wolf, and I'm excited about the idea of adding in a few other main characters. Only problem at the moment other than low word count is, I'm not quite sure where I'm going to take the story. XD But, considering I'm never low on ideas, I'm sure that won't be a problem for long. Especially since I do have an end goal.

Anyway... There's my update. If you haven't already noticed, there's a new poll question up! Which character would you like to hear more about?

This was the result of last week's question:
Which character do you feel the most sorry for?
Bryin  0 (0%)
Darvel  2 (33%)

Katrina  4 (66%)

Other  0 (0%)
No one  0 (0%)

So, Katrina won with a total of 4 votes. Yay. XD I voted for Darvel, just because (or Katrina... I honestly can't remember because it's been a pretty long week...) and Cloaklover voted for Katrina. So that means four other people voted, which makes me happy because I wasn't really sure if anyone else would. :)

And, one last thing, I have a personality quiz thing. If you haven't already taken it, you totally should, just for fun! And if you've already done it, first, thank you so much! :D And second, let me know your result in the comments, or any questions you had! I know two people said they got Adela (which is why I included her in the poll question) so if you want to know more about her then just let me know. :D

Okay, I'm done rambling. I think... Thanks for reading! Hopefully I remember to update my blog next week!

NaNoWriMo

Sooo... I haven't posted in awhile, but I've been thinking that maybe I'd like to start back up again. And so, I figured I would attempt to post at least once a week, probably every Friday, and share how NaNo is going for me. Since I started college this year, I'm not going to have as much time to write, but we'll see how everything turns out later.

Currently, I'm working on the sixth book in my WoP (World of Panin) series. I've been working on it for awhile, and probably won't be done with it anytime soon, but I'd still like to start a new project for NaNo that I'm referring to as More Than Survival. I don't have too much planned for it, but I have a loose plot, and lots of ideas. If anyone has any questions about it, I'd love to answer them, but other than what I just typed up, I don't really have anything else to say on that subject.

Really, though, I'd love to get back to blogging more regularly, so expect more blog posts in the future, and bug me about them if you want. It might help to remind my scatterbrained self to write something up more than just a few times a year.

(Also, in an attempt to motivate myself, I'm going to try and start posting a weekly poll question. This week's question is Who do you feel sorry for the most? If you have any suggestions for questions, or other weekly things you might like to see here, let me know! :D)

Annnnd, here's a small part of the fifth book from WoP.
-------

Pushing past all the strangers, Bryin wandered around looking confused. He didn’t exactly know what to do, and Sage was nowhere in sight. As the minutes ticked by, and Bryin accidentally walked across the dance floor, bumping into the waltzing couples, he made his way to the farthest wall and stood back watching all the people. Most everyone was interacting with everyone else, engaging in conversations or dancing, and Bryin felt out of place. Normally he loved socializing with people, but today he was feeling off. In fact, he was beginning to forget what the party was even for.

            But when he noticed Darvel against the same wall he was leaning on, he quickly remembered. Bryin scooted closer to Darvel, a frown slowly creasing his face.

            “Please don’t tell me I look like that.” Bryin said, noting that Darvel’s clothes were exactly like his, only different colors. Even their hair was styled the same.

            “You know,” Darvel muttered, casting a side-glance at Bryin, “I’m getting the sudden urge to insult you, but there’s nothing I can say without insulting myself as well.”

            Bryin rolled his eyes, a smile threatening to show. He realized Darvel had said something mean like always, but it was also pretty amusing.

            “Ha, ha.” Bryin said, satisfied with achieving a sarcastic tone. “You’re really funny Darvel. But I think you’ve taken this whole joke way to far.” He gestured to the party going on around them. “Maybe it’s time to break the news to everyone that you’re not really getting married.”

            “Pfft. What? You worried I’m not gonna pay attention to you after I get married?” Darvel gave Bryin’s cheek a gentle pat. “It’ll be okay. If you ever need me, I’ll always have time to give you a punch in the face if you need it.”

            Bryin scowled lightly. “That’s not what I’m talking about, Darvel. I doubt anyone who really knows you will believe that you’re actually getting married. It’s not like you to do something like that.”  Bryin tapped his chin, then held up a finger before Darvel could say anything. “Oh, wait! I know! Adela totally asked you to marry her. That’s the only explanation for this whole thing!”

            Darvel glared hard at Bryin. “Just shut up. I’m not joking about getting married. And I’m the one who asked her. Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I’m not capable of liking other people.”

            “Okay, okay.” Bryin held up he hands as a sign of defeat. “Gosh, all I meant by that was it’s weird to think you’re getting married. I mean, you’re only eighteen…”

            “And your point is?” Darvel raised an eyebrow at Bryin. “I was only seventeen when I moved out of the castle and got a job and started taking care of Katrina.”

            “Yeah, and most seventeen year olds on Earth wouldn’t want to do that sort of thing at that age.” Bryin crossed his arms. “At least I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t want to. And they certainly wouldn’t want to get married a year later.”

            “I don’t know where you’ve been for the last three years, but this isn’t Earth.” Darvel crossed his arms, unconsciously copying Bryin. “Besides,” Darvel said, his eyes wandering to watch Adela across the room as she talked to a few other people, “I really do care about her, so it shouldn’t be that hard to believe that I would want to marry her…”

            “Ew, Darvel…” Bryin made a face and put a hand over Darvel’s eyes. “Stop looking at her like that, seriously… It’s gross.”

            Darvel slapped Bryin’s hand away, scowling. “What’s gross? I was just looking at her.”

            “It’s not gross that you were looking at her, it’s gross the way you were looking at her.” Bryin shook his head. “Sort of like the way I would look at a bag of gummy bears.”

            Darvel gave Bryin a look that said he was less than amused. “I… I don’t even know how to respond to that…”

            “Well, I guess I do have that sort of effect on people.” Bryin flashed Darvel a grin, and an awkward silence fell between them.

            As they stared at each other, Darvel cleared his throat and looked away. “You… Um… You seem to be doing okay even after everything that happened…”

            “Oh, don’t worry. I know how much you would hate it if I was okay, so…” Bryin rolled up the left sleeve of his dress shirt and revealed his sliced up arm. “Sorry, though. Sage says the cuts are healing very well so far.”

            Darvel winced, knowing that a few days ago he was very close to the point of doing that to himself. “I don’t think I realized you were at that point. Are… Are you okay now?”

            Bryin shoved Darvel lightly. “Hey, don’t ask me that. We both know it’s not like you to care about me. You shouldn’t even be the slightest bit sympathetic. You hate me, and… I’m okay with that now. Besides, I won’t even think about how much you hate me when I’m off sailing the seas as a pirate.”

            “What are you going on about now?” Darvel sighed, wondering if maybe he shouldn’t have asked Bryin that question.

            “Nothing really. I… I just got in to contact with Calix, and he said he would meet me so I could join the pirate crew.”

            “So… You’re going to find a ship…” Darvel bit his lip slightly. “When are you running off to do that?”

            “I dunno…” Bryin shrugged and turned to watch all the couples dancing. “Soon, I think. Probably in like, three days or something like that. I just need time to get everything together without Sage or the rest of the family noticing what I’m up to.”

            Darvel nodded slowly, obviously thinking something through. “Well, then… Would you mind if… If I came along with you? P-please?”

            “You can come, but are you sure you’re not an alien?” Bryin started walking towards a long table filled with different foods. Pausing, he turned to glance back at Darvel. “I mean, ever since we rescued everyone from those wizards, you’ve been being a little nicer, and it’s not really like you, if you know what I mean.”

            “Whatever.” Darvel huffed at Bryin and watched him walk off, all the while knowing Bryin was right. Since then, he and Bryin had held at least two civil conversations, and he was beginning to notice that he didn’t really hate Bryin like he used to. What’s more, he was having a hard time validating his reasons for hating Bryin, and he also didn’t see why becoming king had been such a big deal to him.

            Adela walked over to him, and introduced him to a few of her friends, and a few people she had just met, and he began to guess that she was the reason he was different. It was because she and Katrina loved him, and had wanted to be his friend. They gave him the kind of attention he never believed his family gave to him, and it wasn’t until that moment that Darvel had become aware of that.

A Year Later

So, I haven't really been trying hard to think of a blog post, and my last one was sort of about me, but... Yeah.

Anyways, I completely forgot about this until I came across something that reminded me, but Bryin and Darvel's birthday is April 15th. I wasn't entirely sure about that until I went through my old posts, but reading that one got me thinking. In the book I'm currently working on, there's a bunch of drama taking place, and it's pretty hilarious actually, but things are changing quickly. Both Bryin and Darvel are getting to become totally different people than they were a year ago.

I'm pretty close to the ending of book five, and both the twins have hit an all time low, and it won't be until the ending of the sixth book, or beginning of the seventh book until they pull themselves together. (So, basically, this is going to be really fun for me to write, but that's a bit off topic...)

My point is, (I think I had one when I started typing...) with every book that ends, every year that goes by, it's really cool to see the changes in their character and how their circumstances affect them.

For example, the longer this book goes on, the more attached to Adela he's becoming. (I'll explain Adela later, if I haven't already.) It's really cute, and I can't believe how quickly he started to like her. Although they've spent a year together before this book that I didn't write about, but that's besides the point. And not only that, but he seems to be softening up a lot! I hadn't really expected it until after the seventh book at least, but of course my characters defy me once again.

And Bryin... Well, I'm not sure you want me to go into this as it's not exactly cute like Darvel's character change, but... Basically he's slowly going insane. Okay, he was always crazy before, but now something inside his mind has snapped (literally, but I'm not going to explain how). And now he's finding himself more easily irritated and pretty violent. (Sorta like Darvel... I think they might have switched when I wasn't looking...)

Anyways, that's pretty much been their year. Not in full details of course, seeing as I left out all the interesting stuff. ;) But I'm thinking it will be so cool to see where they are in another year!

Annnd, here's a cute story I felt like posting. (I'm not sure if I ever posted it on my thread before, or anything like that, but it's a cute scene.)
------------------

            Bryin looked around clutching a box he had wrapped himself. He had just gotten away from his family who had insisted on making a big deal out of his eighteenth birthday. But he didn’t want them to make a huge thing out of him “growing up” and he decided to leave since Darvel hadn’t even been there. It was his birthday too and everyone really wanted him there as well, but instead he had locked himself in his room to do who knew what.

            “Bryin,” Sage said, following behind him, “why are you going to find Darvel? From what I have seen of him, he does not want anything to do with you, and it is rather pointless to continue reaching out to him. It is only a waste of your time, and the rest of your family have realized that. Why have you not come to that conclusion as well?”

            “Because, Sage,” Bryin sighed, not bothering to slow down so that the seven year old could catch up. “He’s my brother and I’m never going to give up on him no matter what. And I certainly hope none of my family would give up on me, even when I’m being beyond difficult and mean.”

            “Alright. Whatever you wish to believe, you can, Bryin.” Sage said, deciding to let Bryin talk to Darvel alone. “But at least be wise in recognizing the signs of Darvel possibly being a lost cause.”

            “He’s not a lost cause!” Bryin called after Sage who was quickly disappearing on his way to the library, his favorite place in the castle.

            “Save you breath, Bryin.” Darvel muttered as the opened the door to his room. “You’re not convincing that kid of anything and you’re certainly not convincing yourself. Now what do you want?”

            Staring at Darvel, Bryin found himself somewhat amused by the fact that they were now eighteen, and Darvel was still an almost perfect mirror image of himself. Only, Darvel was much harder and angrier than he ever was.

            “Um, well, I wanted to bring you this,” Bryin said, smiling as he held out the box he was still holding. “It’s for my— or I mean, your birthday.” Bryin added when Darvel made no move to take the gift from Bryin.

            “Yeah, real thoughtful of you. Now leave me alone.” Darvel said as he turned around and moved to shut the door on Bryin.

            “Wait! Darvel, come on…” Bryin stuck his foot in the door to keep it from closing. “Please just open it…”

            “Yeah!” Said a happy little voice from somewhere in Darvel’s room. “You should be nice to your brother, Darvel! ‘Cus he told me he loves you lots, and I love you lots too, so it means we both want you to be happy!”

            “Katrina…” Darvel half groaned. “That’s not what he wants…”

            Even though Darvel clearly didn’t want him there, he left the door open for Bryin to let himself in.

            “Sorry if it doesn’t seem like I love you,” Bryin said, looking down at the present he brought for his brother. “But I really do love you. And that’s why I brought you this.”

            As Darvel sat down on his bed next to Katrina, Bryin placed the wrapped box on his lap. Darvel rolled his eyes and tried to appear annoyed when in all reality he was actually very curious to find out what Bryin had brought him.

            So, as unenthusiastically as he could, Darvel ripped the wrapping paper off of the box and took the lid off the box to reveal a leather bound book.

            “You… You got me a book?” Darvel asked, wrinkling his nose. “Seriously Bryin, you don’t even like to read. Why would you think I would?”

            “Nooo!” Bryin sighed, taking the book out of the box for Darvel. “It’s a special book I made just for you. At least look at it…”

            Darvel was about to reject Bryin’s gift altogether without a hesitation until he glanced at Katrina’s pleading eyes. With a sigh he grudgingly took the book and stared at it with a blank face.

            Etched on the cover was the title, Reasons Why I Love Darvel. The black leather was soft, and Darvel could obviously tell Bryin had put a lot of work into it. Opening it and flipping through to a random page, Darvel noticed that the whole book was one long numbered list.

            “23. I love Darvel because he’s just as stubborn as me.

            24. I love Darvel because he hasn’t killed me yet.

            25. I love Darvel because if you move past the fact that he’s being rude and mean, he’s really funny…”

            Without even glancing at the other pages, Darvel estimated that there had to be more than a hundred reasons that Bryin had thought of and written down… But why?

            “Really funny, Bryin,” Darvel said, standing up and shoving the book back to Bryin, “but I’ve got things that need to be done, and you need to leave. No one has time for your little games anyways.”

            Darvel spun Bryin towards the door and started pushing him into the hallway.

            “But, Darvel…” Katrina said, jumping up from her spot on his bed. “Y-you didn’t get to my part. ‘Cus I helped Bryin with the book, huh, Bryin?”

            Bryin grinned at Katrina and nodded.

            “Yep! Katrina was a big help, and the whole last part of it was her’s to you.”

            Darvel stopped, crossed his arms, and frowned as he looked between Katrina and Bryin. Then he rubbed his forehead with one hand and held the other one out to Bryin.

            “Just give it to me.” Darvel mumbled, shaking his head.

            Bryin gladly handed the book back to Darvel, still grinning widely.

            Darvel muttered something about Bryin wiping that stupid smile off of his face as he flipped back to the last few pages. But, as he read all of the things that Bryin had written down for Katrina, and saw all of the little drawings Katrina had done herself, he couldn’t keep the smile off of his own face.

            Looking back at the little girl, Darvel knelt in front of her and wrapped his arms around her.

            “Thank you, Katrina. I love it.”

            “You do?” Katrina asked, her big eyes looking at Darvel hopefully.

            “Of course I do, Katrina. I love it especially because it came from you.” Darvel gave Katrina a tight squeeze, and tilted his head as Katrina whispered something into his ear. Shaking his head he whispered something back with a frown. Katrina pulled away from him, crossed her arms, and gave him a disapproving look.

            Darvel stood up, not believing that a five year old was bossing him around, and he was possibly going to listen to her. Glancing back at the doorway, he sighed as he saw Bryin was still there.

            “And you’re still grinning idiotically too…” Darvel muttered under his breath.

            “What?” Bryin asked, casting a glance at Katrina. “What were you two talking about?”

            “Nothing, Bryin.” Darvel said, taking a step towards the door. “But, um…” Darvel cleared his throat uncomfortably and looked at the ground. “Thanks, for… Well, you know.”

            Bryin didn’t even wait for Darvel to finish before he tackled him in a hug.

            “I love you too, Darvel…” Bryin said, seeing a glimmer of hope for once that maybe he and Darvel could become friends.

            “I know.” Darvel replied, hugging Bryin back for the first time ever.

            Then he pushed Bryin out of the room and shut the door behind him.

A glance into my inner thoughts...

Okay, so I know it's been awhile since I've posted anything and what I'm posting now doesn't have anything to do with my writing, but... It's been on my mind lately and I kinda wanted to write it to get my feelings out. Yeah, so don't bother reading it if you don't really want to. ;p

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Why is it that when I'm feeling completely fine, and after being surrounded with so many amazing people, I'm always sucked back into a dark pit of loneliness? I feel as if I have no one to talk to, but could it be I'm only really afraid of what my friends might think of me? What if, out of the blue, I poured out my feelings to someone, giving them all my real thoughts and opinions? Would they still be my friend? Were they really my friend to begin with? Would the even give me the opportunity to speak, or will I always be stuck as the listener?

It's after flipping through a list of people with these questions and more swirling around my brain that I stop and turn to the only one on Earth who can understand me.

Me.

But as I'm dying to discuss a certain situation with another human being, my inner self enlightens me on why I am suffering.

It's your fault, I tell myself. If you only had the courage to say something,you wouldn't be alone. In fact, pick up your phone right now. There are plenty of people who would listen. The only problem is YOU.

You watch the groups of people interacting with each other and long to be part of it. Yet you lie to yourself and say you really want to be alone. You've even managed to make yourself lonely reading conversations on the internet. It makes me wonder, when are you going to learn? The. Problem. Is. You!

Every word I tell myself sounds true. If I'm always silently on the sidelines, how is anyone supposed to know I'm hurt and lonely, practically dying for a deeper relationship to break the walls I've built? But even knowing that, I still wait by expectantly, trying to convey a thousand messages with my longing gazes.

Maybe... Maybe I should try harder. But... But I'm always doing my best to connect with people and understand them. Would it be too much to ask for someone else to make the first move? For them to try and understand me? For once, for someone to give me a chance?

Please, someone... Give me the chance. Give me the chance to let everything out before I'm lost in my unending thoughts. Before I'm destroyed and consumed by my unknown feelings.

For once in a long time, help me climb out of the pit of loneliness. Show my other self she's wrong.

I... I don't want to be lonely anymore...